


Seahorses

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Crack, Humor, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-07-30
Updated: 2006-07-30
Packaged: 2018-12-26 19:03:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12065118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Justin and Brian make fun of a storyline idea Michael has forRage.





	Seahorses

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

When Brian arrived home after work, the first thing he saw when he stepped into the kitchen was Justin, his hands on his hips, glaring daggers at Michael.

"I just think it's a good idea. It's the next logical step," Michael said, looking up from the stack of _Rage_ sketches that littered the table.

"It's a fucking stupid idea and there's no way in hell I'm going along with it!" He walked over to the refrigerator, opened it, grabbed a bottle of water, and slammed the stainless steel door shut.

"Hey! Just because you're the illustrator doesn't mean you have final veto power! The comic is half mine, so my opinion counts!" Michael quickly grabbed the notebook he carried around containing his story ideas and yanked his coat off the back of his newly-vacated chair.

"Not if your opinion is beyond moronic!" Justin yelled at Michael's retreating back, fighting the urge to lob the water bottle at the annoying little man. A moment later the front door slammed shut.

"The best thing about coming home after a long day's work is the relaxing atmosphere," Brian remarked, stepping behind Justin and running his fingers through the hair at the nape of the younger man's neck, taking note of the knots of tension along his neck and shoulders.

"Sorry. Michael's just . . ."

"No need to explain."

"I'm going out to the stables for a little while." Justin turned, pressed a quick kiss to Brian's lips, then exited the kitchen.

***

When they'd first moved to the house, Justin would often disappear whenever he was in a bad mood, or when he and Brian had a fight and he'd needed some space. It had taken Brian about a week - once he decided to pay attention - to figure out that Justin would go to the stables. Usually the younger man would just wander around and think, but sometimes he'd strap on a pair of boxing gloves and take out his frustrations on the punching bag he'd had placed at the far end of the building.

After giving Justin half an hour to do whatever he needed to do, Brian pulled on his boots and headed outside. Upon entering the stables, he found Justin, drenched in sweat, his hair sticking to his forehead, sitting on the door of one of the individual stables, swinging his legs back and forth.

"So what'd he do this time?" Brian asked, leaning against the wall across from where Justin was sitting.

"He wants Zephyr and Ken Kirshner to have a baby." Justin hopped down and began pacing. "But not only does he want them to have a kid, he wants them to have a biological baby. That is, biologically _both of theirs._   So I'm like, ‘How is that supposed to be possible?' And Michael's like, ‘Well, one of them would have to get pregnant, obviously.'"

"Yes . . . _obviously."_ Brian smirked as he continued watching Justin pace. "It makes such . . . _sense._ You hear about it all the time . . . on CNN, in the _New York Times_ . . ."

"I refuse to have Zephyr get pregnant! One, he's a superhero . . . can't fight the bad guys when you're forty pounds overweight, have swollen ankles, and are prone to hormone-induced bouts of irrationality! Two, how's he gonna foil the bad guys? Have his water break, they slip in it, and die from falling down a conveniently-placed flight of stairs? I think not. And three, and I actually _had_ to point this out to him . . . ZEPHYR'S A FUCKING MAN! And do you know what Michael said?"

"I'm sure whatever it was, it was worthy of being mocked."

"He said, and I quote . . . ‘Ben was watching this documentary on seahorses and the male seahorses give birth. Like, they carry the baby seahorses and go into labor and everything. So it's really not all that far-fetched that Zephyr could do the same.'"

"He _does_ realize that a female seahorse is still half of the reproductive equation, doesn't he?"

"I tried that! I pointed that out and he said, ‘Well, Zephyr's a superhero! He's got powers . . . some of which are still undiscovered.'"

"Is his uterus one of those powers?"

"Oh, no . . . Zephyr doesn't have a uterus. Michael was very specific about that."

"He has a whole _theory_ based around this?"

"Oh, yeah. Zephyr has this," Justin remarked, making quote marks in the air, "‘previously unknown birth canal/uterus thing with a different name cause Zephyr can't have a uterus cause he's definitely not a woman.'"

"Michael actually said that?"

"Oh yeah. So I was like, ‘So if Ken Kirshner impregnates him, obviously this ‘thing' is in the vicinity of Zephyr's ass. How's their darling child supposed to enter the world?'"

"Oh, ew, ew, Christ! Stop!"

"He's going to keep pushing this issue, and I don't want to deal with it anymore, because it's the fucking stupidest thing he's ever come up with. Each time I think he comes up with the most far-fetched idea possible, he manages to outdo himself." Justin stopped pacing, and let out a long, loud sigh of frustration. "Seriously, I need to come up with something to put him in his place." He slipped his arms around Brian's waist and leaned his head against the taller man's chest. "If I can't, then Zephyr's gonna die in childbirth."

***

Brian peered over Justin's shoulder as he scribbled furiously on the paper atop his light box. A snicker escaped his mouth and he planted a kiss on Justin's temple. "Mikey's gonna kill you."

"Don't care."

"I like it."

"Thanks." Justin squinted at the little seahorses he'd drawn in the aquarium JT was carrying into Ken and Zephyr's house, and carefully wrote their names over their little heads: _Egg, Sperm, Uterus, Fallopian Tube, Ovary._ Then he added a dialogue bubble over JT's head and wrote in: _Zephyr's gonna love you guys. He's always been fascinated by seahorses._  


 


End file.
